Suffering: What do to with it?

 Someone asked my thoughts on suffering recently, so I decided to see if I could put something together. I know two things from the beginning:

1. I do not feel yet qualified enough in my practice and knowledge to answer definitively

2. This topic itself warrants an entire book

To help me write about this, I leaned heavily on my favorite teachers as well as including some more well known names like the Dalai Lama. I'm going to start with a personal note.

In 2013 I had my third crash with adrenal fatigue. Every day, for six months, non-stop, I was exhausted and anxious. I could barely sleep. For the full story, see my documentary.  What I learned from that was this: I did not know that it was possible for a human being to suffer so much and still live. There is no way to put it into words. Not only was I always exhausted, but I was always afraid. Sounds, movements, even temperature changes caused a fear reaction in my mind and body. The hardest part was that there were no breaks. That was truly it. If I could have had five minutes here and there of relief during this time, it would have been infinitely more bearable. But it continued non-stop and I did not know if or when it would ever end. After about six months I would get small periods of relief, and after about two years I felt better about half of the time. I did everything I could to get better. I could not understand why God would let that happen to me. I still don't exactly -- except now that I do know about it, I can try to help others who are suffering this way or help others avoid it, which is why I made my documentary. It was so awful I would not have wished it on anyone. 

However, I am changed. I see my life now as a second life, in a sense. I did not know if I was going to have it. I thought I might have died (or taken my own life) from my illness. So, now, if I don't get everything I want, or what I've dreamed of, it's not so bad. I have a level of freedom because I have let go of this life to an extent. In fact, I've been good with leaving this life for a long time now. Many of my former concerns seem silly, or petty, or meaningless. What I'd like to have now is friendship, and love, and laughter, and a true experience of the Source of all being. I now see how incredibly beautiful a tree can be, but also a random plate or a rock. The Divine's threads weave through all creation and it is truly good.

 In terms of the ego, most religions teach in some way that all of us must die before we die, and then we will not be afraid of dying. Suffering of some sort seems to be the only thing strong enough to destabilize our arrogance and our ignorance. I would define suffering very simply as whenever you are not in control.

Richard Rohr

 

This is what one of my teachers, Richard Rohr, talks about, in Falling Upward. The second half of life begins when you die to yourself. Calling on concepts from Carl Jung, he talks about the False Self, the egoic creation we make in our minds, and explains that it is not our Real Self. As we die to the false self we are able to let go of so many labels, and preferences, and ideas, and rules, and just be. The real, or True Self, is the consciousness behind all the labels and concepts, that truly is. That's what we are, a being. Not labels, identities, our body, our preferences. And Rohr mentions that most people get there either through great love, or great suffering.

The two Virtues of Equanimity and Compassion become more available to the person whose ego-shell has been smashed-either by great suffering or by great love-or by both.

Richard Rohr

What ultimately helps us, I believe, is that we understand this about suffering: it is not evil, but simply a part of life. We can very much make our lives worse by being afraid of suffering (a type of suffering) and being controlled by trying to avoid suffering. (Though this doesn't mean we seek it out either.)

If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.

Viktor E. Frankl

From the Daoist point of view, we are all part of the great organism of nature. That cycle includes suffering and death. We see animals fight to survive and suffer as well as we do. It is natural in the sense that it is built-in to the reality we live in. But in humans, suffering can change us, transform us, and help us let go of things that ultimately cause us to suffer even more. 

Encountering sufferings will definitely contribute to the elevation of your spiritual practice, provided you are able to transform calamity and misfortune into the path.

Dalai Lama

How do we process and integrate suffering?

To make use of our suffering, we must first simply accept that it is there, it is inevitable, and it is not evil of itself. Once we do that, we can also practice techniques that help us transform and change it.

Suffering = Pain times Resistance

Shinzen Young

One of my teachers, Shinzen Young, teaches a very simple perspective on suffering. That what really magnifies it is resistance. If you observe yourself during a time of pain or emotional discomfort, you will discover that your body is reacting. Muscles clench, the body fills with hormones, you become focused on trying to avoid or stop the pain. In these times we are resisting pain we make it worse. Imagine pain is pulling you in a direction, and you fight it, and now you're being dragged along the ground, hurting yourself more. Instead, you walk along with the direction of the pain. Shinzen teaches that you don't resist pain, you fully experience it. When you feel pain (physical or emotional), stop and observe your body. Ask yourself, where is the sensation? What does it feel like? Is it growing, shrinking? Moving in waves, or still? The opposite of doing this is getting lost in our thoughts, "Oh no, this is terrible. It's happening again. I hate this. When will it end?" When we think like this we amplify the pain into suffering. And Shinzen believes it is a multiplicative effect, not just an addition. The suffering is magnified greatly by resistance. It would take a while to explain his teachings further but I would say generally it is to:

Observe. Accept (equanimity.) Explore. Experience. 

When pain is experienced fully it can move on in your body. Especially emotional pain, once allowed to be experienced, it can be released. 

Transformation through suffering

If we do not transform our pain, we will always transmit it. Someone else always suffers because we don't know how to suffer our own wounds

Richard Rohr

I have seen several teachings that suffering can indeed make us more compassionate. But of course it can also make us more angry and bitter -- the choice is up to us.

Romans 5:3-5

...we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Here we see a verse that says to "glory in sufferings." Look at all that it produces, we are transformed. Suffering can also show us who we are.

Prov 17:3 Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,

    but the Lord tests the heart.

It can be seen as a test of the heart. Of course, our Divine Mother knows our hearts, but we are the ones who need to see it. 

We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.

Dalai Lama 

The Universe is not taking things out on you. Everyone has their share of suffering, and yes, the shares are often different sized. But people are all different sizes and shapes. The nature of reality is that we are all unique and different, including our suffering. But some of us are special, we get more. In one perspective (though I know it may be difficult) we could see it as an honor.

Philippians 1:29 

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake

 Final Thoughts and Quotes

Again, there is so much I could say here. As a mystic, I understand that everything is connected and part of a greater One. That everything that happens is part of a grand story, and one that will be well in the end. Since no suffering lasts forever (I do not believe in traditional hell, please see this link for more) these temporary things will all pass and all will be well. Which, if properly understood on a deep level, means we could take life less seriously and probably enjoy it a lot more.

They are enlightened who join in this play knowing it as play, for people suffer only because they take as serious what the gods made for fun.

Alan Watts

I will leave you with my favorite verse in the Bible, from Revelation 21. 

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Here are some other quotes from my teachers that I found while researching this that may prove helpful for you on this subject.

Like too much alcohol,self-consciousness makes us see ourselves double, and we make the double image for two selves - mental and material, controlling and controlled, reflective and spontaneous. Thus instead of suffering we suffer about suffering, and suffer about suffering about suffering.

Alan Watts

When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.

Dalai Lama

I think the problems of the world aren't caused by people coming together and saying "let's make problems." They're caused by people coming together and saying "let's make solutions" without having solved the problem of their own suffering.

Shinzen Young

The End of The World

 Years ago I would joke around saying that it would be cool to be around during the "end times," as Christians are likely to call them. You see, I'd be really popular in heaven. People would come up to me and be like, "Wow! What was it like?" "You saw the moon turn to blood?" Stuff like that.

I could say that because I've been pretty confident that God will be with me eternally, even if there are difficult and scary times. God is bigger than everything that happens. 

I never really believed we were in the end times, however, for several reasons. One is that every single generation since Jesus' time has thought they were the last. And they were all wrong. I understand the math behind that. I also see that some people use it as an excuse for various types of behavior. As far as I'm concerned, the truth is that we have no idea. 

I don't subscribe to this whole "The world is getting worse" theory either. Honestly, just a look at history can tell you it's always been at least this bad. And since today there are less poor and starving people, less disease, less children dying, than in the last 200 years, we actually overall are doing well. It's just that now we have world news and the internet and people can read 24/7 about all of the bad things.

Then of course there is the political division, especially in America. Nearly half of our country have convinced themselves that the "other" party will destroy everything they held dear. It almost seems like a mass gaslighting where each side gets more extreme and believes more ridiculous falsehoods to justify their continued culture war. Regardless, this is one reason I've become apolitical. Normally I won't talk about it much since I do not wish to offend, yet hardly anyone reads this blog anyway. 

Lately it has felt a bit more "end of the world"-ish. I'm developing the new AI curriculum at the college where I teach, and I am seeing updates daily on it and it is going to be (and already is) quite powerful. China, Russia, and the Middle East all seem to be leaning toward more aggressiveness. So I understand why some might worry. 

But let's get down to it: 

The End of The World

If you are one of those people currently worried about "The End," and you know God, like me, I want to encourage you. (You know who you are!)

Part of the reason we fear the end of the world is because of suffering. We have been conditioned, especially in America, to avoid and revile suffering. However, the simple lesson of Jesus should show us: he suffered. Then we are told also to take up our cross and follow him. This strongly implies we will suffer. But we don't have to view it as some horrible trial that we have to go through. We can view it as following God, and actually learn from our suffering. Most importantly: we can use it to be transformed.

If you stay in the mainstream of life, in other words, you let in the suffering of the world that invariably enters all of our lives by the time we're in our middle years, when we've experienced a few deaths and read a few headlines. Famine, poverty, abuse, you can't keep that all blocked out. If you let those things teach you, influence you, change you, those are the events that transition you without you even knowing it to become more compassionate. In other words, you hold onto your values, but you do it much more inclusively, humbly and in an open ended way. Suffering takes you there. - Richard Rohr

 Since I have gone through very extreme suffering (see my Adrenal Fatigue documentary) I have much less fear of it now. I can sit through my suffering, I can be, I can even find God there. Sometimes it has even felt like I cannot find God when it is at its worst -- but I know she is there waiting on the other side for me. I only must wait for it to pass. You see, all things, all states will pass, but I will remain. And this is because I am a vine grafted into the Tree of God himself. 

Letting Go

I think another reason it can be difficult to face the end of the world, is because we hold on to things. We have so many expectations. Some are simple: we will get up tomorrow, have a meal we like, do some things we like to do. Simple things that make us happy. But also being attached to them causes the fear of losing them. And so we can end up that the more we have, the more we live in fear of loss. Whenever I fear losing something, if I'm aware of it, I practice letting go of that thing instead. "What if I never had this thing again?" I sit and appreciate the times when I had that thing (or person!) in my life, and think grateful thoughts. I have lost many people and things already, and I'm still here and mostly fine. There are those I love very much that are gone from my life, and I miss them terribly; but my gratefulness practice helps. Also I can remember we can still love something or someone without possessing them. I still love those people that are gone. The more we practice letting go of everything in life, the less fear we will have about it. 

What we Have

What we do have is the Divine, the Source, the Maker. The Lover of Our Souls. Our wonderful Father who treasures us. We also have the consciousness, the experience of life we have been given. That will not be taken away. Even as this body dies, our consciousness will continue. I am sure of that. So, even if it is the end of the world, it will be an exciting and interesting time. We will see what we are truly made of. We will (hopefully) do our best, and have grace for our failures. And then, it will be over, and we will be at peace.

Have you seen any of those documentaries about people having near death experiences (NDEs)? Nearly all of them report an amazing sense of peace after leaving their bodies. Their consciousness floats around, still seeing (without eyes!) and hearing (without ears!) Most do not want to return but are told they must. We will continue. 

We All Will Die

We are all going to die anyway. It could be a car accident tomorrow. We don't know. But once we have accepted death, we are free. Even the story of baptism reflects this: we are buried with Christ and resurrected. Hardly any of us consider how to die, or how we have died. But this dying to self is freedom. Once you have come to terms with your own death, what is there to fear? (Suffering, yes, loss, yes, but we've already talked about those two! No need to fear those either.) So we must die to be reborn in love and spirit. 

“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life - and only then will I be free to become myself. ”

― Martin Heidegger

I know I'm not all the way there yet. I haven't totally accepted death or let go of all my concepts and possessions. But I can see the path in that direction and I walk it. So I will practice accepting death. I will practice letting go, and gratitude. And I will allow my suffering to transform me to be more like Christ. If it is the end of the world, I could not stop it anyway. If it comes, let it come. I will be, once again, the observer to witness it, and the dancer, to flow along with what is happening.  

We are verbs. God is a verb.

 Yesterday I was listening to Shinzen Young who was talking about the illusion of the ego. Every language he has studies has words for the separate "I-other" relationship. Instead, he says, we are more of a verb, not a thing. We are the activity of the universe. We are part of a greater whole. As Alan Watts would say, you do not end at your skin. 

Today Richard Rohr was saying to me that God is a verb. We make a mistake of trying to sense God in the same way we sense other objects in the world. It is a different sensing, which is why in the Western world there are many atheists because they expect God to be proven and sensed like the temporary objects we interact with daily. But God has a different sort of realness, of existence. 

Richard also mentions that the way most people end up on this path of enlightenment is through love or suffering. It was 11 years ago when I was in the middle of the worst suffering I have ever felt. I actually did not realize the human body could suffer that much and still continue. My body and mind were both breaking down. I took solace in the church and went as often as I could so I wouldn't just be alone with my suffering (since I lived alone.) 

One day, one of the prophetic people in my church said they saw behind me a black angel. He said it meant I would be given "deep revelation." Perhaps the suffering brought me here. Maybe this, what I'm learning now, is the deep revelation. It certainly feels like it. 

Of course these words are only words. "God is a verb" or "we are verbs" are only tools to get us to think differently about the world and ourselves. It's not some literal dogmatic definition I'm trying to say here. Instead it is a perspective that is useful, on occasion. 

And Also Love

I was writing about love today and was reminded of something important. The first commandment Jesus gives:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart. Love him with all your soul, and love him with all your mind. - Matt 22:37

And, it's pretty much impossible. For a couple of reasons. 

1. We cannot willpower our way into this love. We cannot push out all other concerns from our heart, soul, and mind. We cannot totally empty ourselves of everything but love for God yet this is exactly what it is asking. (At least, on the surface.)

2. Love commanded is not voluntary. Can you really love someone by force? Or is love something that is chosen? Does God want us to love her because we were commanded to? 

So what is to be done? I think there are maybe a couple of answers that, of necessity, must rise above the strict textual level of interpretation. 

Level 2 answer: To really love God, we cannot come straight at it by force. We only can love in this way if God shows us. To do this, we experience God's love first. 

"We love him, because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

So, one answer is to throw ourselves into understanding and experiencing how much God loves us. How can we love an angry master who demands love from us? Yet this is how many of us see God. Until we truly get to know how loving and forgiving God is, we cannot voluntarily love God in this way. In fact, I believe it is the love God gives us that gets reflected back to him. 

Level 3 answer: On a level above this, where we realize that God is (through Jesus, John 1:3!) the maker of everything and is in everything. We live inside of God (Acts 17:28.) So when we love others, when we love music, when we love a good meal, or a sad story, or a work of art.... we are loving God. So, love and be grateful for all the things in your life. 

I don't know that we can ever truly and wholly fulfill this saying by Jesus, but I do believe we can know his love for us and reflect it back to him, and we can also love all the beauty around us. 

Note: I've decided that I will refer to God as both male and female for this blog, for reasons I've discussed earlier. I may even use plural sometimes since Elohim is plural. 

 

The Space Between Thoughts

Living in No Thought World

One way I have used to define one of my meditation practices is to make the space between thought and thought larger. Sometimes, as far as I am aware, I am able to not have a thought for two or three seconds. This actually feels quite wonderful.

A reason I use this definition is because I can explain it to others. Everyone has pauses between thoughts. First, you must actually turn your awareness to your consciousness to see it, even though most people would automatically agree with this statement. But if you observe, you will indeed see that there are pauses. So, therefore, can you not merely extend the pauses?

Between observing thought, and extending the pauses, you have something similar to vipassana meditation. Though it is more detailed than that. 

This description also helps people realize that they are more than thought. Who and what are you when you are not thinking? Observe. Watch. Feel. In that space between thoughts. That space is still you!

And of course God has this very same nature that he gave to us. God exists without thoughts. God is and can simply be. And so can we.

For more on Vipassana, here is a link. It is very similar to Thomas Keating's Christian Centering Prayer. Usually I feel like I am practicing both of these things. 

Blinking in and out of Existence

Some realizations of mine have sort of floated together in my stream of consciousness and coalesced into this idea. Here are the realizations.

1. We live our lives blinking in and out of awareness. There are two ways you can observe this. One is simple: when you look at something, or around a room, there are moments where your eyes quickly jump from one place to another. We are totally unaware of this. So really, the world, to our mind, simply blinks out and back into existence for that fraction of a second when our eyes move. The other way is how sometimes our unconscious takes over and we lose awareness of where we are, what are are doing, and even the food we are eating. I wonder how many meals I have eaten without tasting them because I was lost in thought? So, our consciousness leaves and returns to the present moment. I see this more like a wave, rather than a blinking, but we are at various stages of awareness. In a sense we "go somewhere else" for a while, somewhere that we basically have made up in our imagination, then return to the present. 

2. Buddhism talks about this concept, where time is really an illusion or a collection of instants. I had heard or read somewhere that they taught that reality goes into and out of existence 88 times per second, or something like that, but I'm unable to find the quote now. I am able to find some sources on the general idea which I will provide at the end of this blog. It seems to be the concept of "momentariness" which is an extension of the idea of impermanence. 

I see these concepts as methods to view our conscious experience, not necessarily as "true doctrines" to believe in, but helpful tools. There really does seem to be a sort of waveform, of our awareness going in and out of the moment, and it is an interesting phenomenon. 

Another Thought on Looking and Seeing

After my recent studies of Ram Dass and Rich Mullins, I have had a passage of the bible come to me with new meaning. 

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! - Matt 6:22-23

I used to see this with my old, performance based, guilt infused version of Christianity where I'd be afraid to look at "evil things." (Whatever those are.) If I ever accidently saw something "impure" I'd feel guilty, especially if part of me actually enjoyed it. But now I see it more like Rich and Ram Dass. If my eyes are healthy, I will see the world with compassion. I will see Christ in everything and everywhere. If they are unhealthy I will look for division, and anger, and fear. So, if my own eyes are full of anger and fear, then I look at the world and expect to see more of that, how much more doubly dark will my soul be? 

Another way to look at being "healthy" in this context, is that the Greek word implies "generous." If we love people and forgive them, is that not a healthy way to see? If instead we are protective of what we have, and see others as competing with us for things and status, we will be full of darkness. The Greek for "unhealthy" in this case implies evil and malicious.

So the eye being full of light is NOT WHAT WE SEE but instead HOW WE CHOOSE TO SEE. 

Links:

https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/acref/9780190681159.001.0001/acref-9780190681159-e-2260

https://www.rep.routledge.com/articles/thematic/momentariness-buddhist-doctrine-of/v-1

Rich Mullins and Ram Dass

 I can feel the tension even as I put these two names together. Tension from people and their ideas of what is, and boundaries they have created. Rich Mullins the vagabond Christian musician, and Ram Dass, the psychologist turned guru, never affiliated with Christianity. 

Did you know that early Christian monks not only read the Bible but works of Homer and Plato during their contemplative studies?

It seems today that at least among Christians we are afraid of so many things. As if we could become influenced by evil spirits by doing yoga. As if we could be somehow turned away from God by studying other religions. This has merely served (at least in the American church I can speak of) to make us more insular and judgmental. So I feel some trepidation in my writings, knowing there are few who will understand me -- most of them because they will not even try. But this is my journey my Father and Mother have called me to. My brother Jesus walks beside me. 

So. Ram Dass and Rich. 

In at least one occasion, they spoke about the same thing. 

"Everywhere you look, you see what you are looking for. When you are looking for God, all you see is God." - Ram Dass

"Well, the eagle flies

And the rivers run

I look through the night

And I can see the rising sun

And everywhere I go, I see You

And I see You, Lord, I see You"

-Rich Mullins

If you have been awakened, just a tiny bit, just having a toe in the water of the divine ocean, you too can do this. If you are able to observe your own senses, and feel the real you behind them, then these words above should ring true to you. You know that you'll see what you're looking for. It's so much more than cause and effect -- it is a system where the universe and you are dancing together, and your eyes are open enough to see that the Source, our wonderful maker, is right there in all of it. 

And so, sometimes, when I shake off the pull of the world and my endless stream of (mostly) useless thoughts, I can see God. I see God in nature so easily. His name is in every blade of grass, Her song in every bird's call. I also can see God in people. But lately I have seen God in things his children made: a painting, a building, a rusty speed limit sign. God. God. God. Everywhere, if only we open our eyes.

So many people wander around life, not knowing there even is God. Yet God is in everything, and everything is a miracle, and a wonder. It's not something your intellectual mind can grasp. You just have to put down that intellectual, thinking bit for a moment. (Don't worry, it will still be there when you're done!) What is left? That's the part of you that can see without judging, talk without speaking, fly while you're still on the ground. There is so much more to us than thought. We are. It is amazing. We have been taught, in this Western world, as they say, "I think, therefore I am," but that's only a tiny part of us. If thought becomes all we are even less than half a human. So, sing, dance, act without thinking (when it's safe!) and see who else you are! Our Creator is already dancing, we can join with them in delight.

p.s. Did I mention that in my recent studies I found that in early Christianity the Holy Spirit was referred to as female in the bible? When I found out I thought, "Of course!" I have so much needed God's touch as a Mother, and now I have it. So fulfilling. I would add that of course God is a transcendent being and not specifically any gender, but has those gender qualities inside their being (God is sometimes referred to in Hebrew as a plural.) Since we all are made in God's image, we reflect characteristics of God. It would be neglectful and incomplete to say God does not have the feminine as well as the masculine. https://hts.org.za/index.php/hts/article/view/3225/7763

Daily Reminders of Life Teachings

 I have this note up on my fridge of things to remember that I have learned. I wanted to share with you what they mean -- so I made this video. I hope it is helpful in some way.

Inexplicable Bliss

 I'm not sure how to explain this but I can tell you how I got here, at least. 

This is the menu board at White Duck Taco, which I usually visit at least once a week. It may look like something commonplace, or at least you might appreciate the art in the fonts.

But for me, today, it because a rapturous work of art.

The colors popped out from their flat surface, floating in their brilliance. I took a deep breath and felt such bliss and happiness at the beauty of these colors. It was all I needed in that moment -- my tacos were forgotten. 

I don't know how this happens. It has been happening since I started my contemplative practices, and more and more often as I continue. I'm not sure which thing I'm doing that makes this a part of my life but I can tell you it is very satisfying and worth it. There is so much potential in anything to suddenly burst forth as a work of art. A plate, curtains, the pattern on a carpet -- these all have exploded into brilliant life and hue. 

I've been doing breathing focus meditation for over a decade, and it never led to this. What I do now... well I do many things, but here are a few I suspect may be making changes in my spirit/soul/brain. 

I practice acceptance of the moment. Whether it's good or bad -- in fact, I practice not judging it as good or bad. It is just a moment, and I embrace it. 

I practice acceptance of emotions. When sadness or fear or anger comes, there is an initial resistance. When we resist how we feel, it can become stuck. Instead, I dive into the emotion and try to experience it fully. "Hello anxiety, let me feel you completely!" 

It's interesting that often when I mention my practices to people they tend to have a strong reaction to the "being" and "acceptance" part. For instance, "How can you embrace your anger? Won't you go out of control? Won't you do something you regret?" 

Try it. You won't. You'll feel it rise and flow and then pass through you and away. 

"How can you just accept bad things and not do anything about them?"

Our culture's reaction to "bad" things is always to try to resolve them, to "attack the problem" and to try to make things "better." Often, the best solution is to do nothing. And if you do nothing, and it doesn't change things, then you can do something, but let me ask, have you tried doing nothing first? How many times have you reacted to an emotion with an action that actually made things worse? 

This is one of the teachings of the Dao. Flow with what happens -- many problems resolve themselves if you let them. So many times we try to swim against the current when the current is actually going to bring us where we should be and where we want to be. Personally I equate the Dao with God -- the force that flows through everything and connects all things together. The only difference I think is that Daoists see the Dao as a more impersonal force pervading the universe, where I see the Source as having that aspect, but also one of intelligence and planning. But to realize that everything happening is part of the plan because it must be because of the pervasive Spirit of God in everything and everyone. 

So, this brings us back to acceptance. What is, is what should be. We don't have to understand it. 

I also practice being present in the moment. All of the sights and sounds around me. What are my senses telling me? What do I feel in my hands? My feet? My whole body? What colors do I see? What shapes? What sounds do I hear? 

I don't know which method brings me to these beautiful states -- but when I have them I long to share them with someone else. I want my friends and others to also feel this. I can't tell you directly how to get there, but maybe it's from practicing acceptance and awareness. Maybe.